Stage fright

I have some good news and some bad news about stage fright -- which do you want first? Actually they're both the same -- either you have stage fright or you don't. After 40+ years of performing, that is my conclusion. Some people, including some very famous people, have it and learn to control it, but I think if you have "it", you are stuck with it.

I do not have stage fright. That is not to say that I don't have concerns on occasion about a performance, or that I am never anxious about some particular aspect of a show, but as far as the throwing up backstage/hands shaking/can't remember the words, no, I never have that. One time, MANY years ago, I had a feeling during rehearsals that one person was going to be too scared to perform, so I learned her whole song, and sure enough, on the night of the show (actually a youth temple service), she would NOT go out, and since this was a featured song written by one of the participants, that was quite a problem, so I said, "Well, if you REALLY don't want to do it, I can do it" -- which I did.

I think I have to give some credit to my parents for this. Neither one of them has ever been a musician, so they were never "stage parents." Whenever I would perform or practice, they were complimentary -- no critical remarks, or exhortations that I should be better, or that someone else was better. Also, both of my parents have done a fair amount of public speaking -- my father for his job, and my mother at temple, and neither one got all bent out of shape about doing it. So I had good examples to model.

I have had several performances ruined by the stage fright of others. In every case, the person did fine during numerous rehearsals, but once we got in front of the audience, forget it. One was a man whose daily job included public speaking, and I had seen him do this, always very natural and not even using notes most of the time, but sing a couple of folk songs with me? He was such a wreck, he brought the lyrics out on little pieces of paper, but then his hands were shaking so much that he dropped them all over the stage. Someone else who sang harmony just fine during rehearsals suddenly could not find her notes and sang totally off-key for the whole song.

I am a little bit sympathetic, because there ARE things that make me very anxious, such as highway driving (therefore I don't do it -- ever), and situations that may result in extreme pain and injury. Like anyone approaching me with a needle. So I DO know the feeling. I wonder, though, why people who have extreme stage fright don't just -- stay off the stage!

I will not do something if I think I'll be really bad at it -- that would include any type of dancing, and I've turned down solos where the high note was questionable as to whether I could hit it every time. I can memorize tons of lyrics in various languages, but I can't memorize dialogue, so I don't try to do that. When I do public speaking, I have notes, but I never try to write out or memorize word-for-word what I am going to say. I don't worry that I will blank out and not be able to say anything, because that has never happened.

What DO I worry about? Tripping, dropping something, lighting someone's hair on fire during candlelight service. Tripping or falling off the risers is my biggie, and I have refused to stand on the back riser -- I'm not that great on my feet, so I don't want to be in the back row where I might fall off. Processionals are not my favorite, either, though I've learned to walk and hold a hymnal, but I may not be singing if I have to negotiate any steps. My voice is prone to cracking in a certain part of my range, especially late at night, such as midnight Christmas eve service, and sometimes that does happen, and I just don't care all that much -- really, who is going to remember? I ALWAYS hit the high note -- the problems are in the forgettable low range areas.

I guess part of my lack of stage fright is that over the years, almost everything has happened to me, and yet I survive. I've had a guitar string break the moment before I walked out on stage (I played the whole set without that string), had the scenery fall down during an opera (we continued to sing while holding it up with one hand), had the music blow off the piano outdoors (I improvised and an audience member brought the music back), and the lights or the sound system have gone out several times (depending on the situation, you keep going, or stop til they fix it).

Underneath it all, I just don't CARE all that much. So often I want to say, "Hey, people, it's just a SHOW!" Will anyone remember this a year from now, or even next week? Probably not. I want to do well, but if I don't, well, you didn't pay much to get in to see me. Some of what has happened to me and close friends just in the past decade -- standing on stage and singing a little ditty definitely is not that big a deal in comparison.

So what is my advice if you have really bad stage fright? Don't go on stage. And, if this makes you mad enough that you DO go on stage and are successful, just to prove me wrong, then we've both accomplished something.